For many years of my life I have been the girl everyone wanted on their team. I was fast and competitive and always gave it my all. I was never very coordinated with sports with balls. My sports were all individual sports where you relied on your body; running, gymnastics (which you think would have given me some grace), figure skating, etc.

So you can imagine my sheer frustration as I am in my second year of playing softball and still just as clumsy and awkward as ever. I miss easy balls, can barely hit it past the pitcher, duck when they are whipped at me fast and trip and fall.  I only get asked to play on teams because they want Ryan, who is an excellent player, to play or they are short a girl and I’m better than an automatic out.

This post is brought on by the fact that I TRIPPED AND FELL ON MY FACE running to first at a family tournament this weeked. In front of Ryan’s family I cut open my head and scraped up my nose and even worse, CRIED in front of them!! I had blood gushing from my nose and forehead as I skulked off the field. I didn’t cry because it hurt, I cried because I was so unbelievably humiliated. I still am! I am no longer the girl everyone wants on their team, I am the awkward, sucky girl who everyone has to put up with and I do not like that at all.

This was the day after. The day I fell my nose had a purple bruise on it! Those large “freckles” on my nose are scraped off chunks

So what’s a girl to do? While quitting does sound like the less humiliating option my inner athlete will not let me do that! I have to just keep at it. I have to put in the time and effort and maybe in 10 years I’ll be okay.

This was a scrape from one of my falls last year. I am so clumsy!

I can’t just relax and play softball “for fun” because that isn’t my personality. I never do anything without giving my all.

So I’ll keep at it until something clicks or until I break something- whichever comes first.

I wonder if I’ll ever get the hang of this


  • ivan July 23, 2012 at 11:06 am

    Well, at least you are trying really really hard! I think that it takes longer as an adult and I’m sure that with your spirit you will eventually make this sport your own. Keep at it!

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