2015 Goal- Contentment & an Open Heart

Happy 2015 everyone! I’m away in Salt Lake City with my brother ringing in 2015 with mountain adventures but I wanted to share my 2015 focus.

Last year, I posted a couple of goals and habits I wanted to establish in 2014 (I hate the word resolution). They were to run a 10k,  start walking the dog in the mornings, start a journal, pay off car, stop wasting time on Facebook. So how did I do? I finished that 10k, I have a beautiful journal sitting in my purse (though I only have a handful of entries), and I only go on Facebook to check my notifications. I have yet to get up early enough to walk my dogs in the morning, I’m still going to work toward that this spring and while I DID pay off my car, the darn thing broke down and was pretty much un-fixable. This means I had to take out a new loan on a new car- damn!

Anyway, 2015 is a different year. It’s a year I stop striving for perfection! The year I stop pushing, pushing, pushing. The year I truly realize that what I have is enough.

Contentment

Type A’s will TOTALLY relate to me on how hard it is to “relax” and “be content.” We were raised in a school system where the over achievers were rewarded. We were told over and over that we would be so much better off than others through life. In reality, we’re just the stress cases who are missing life as it goes by because we are so focused on the next milestone we have to achieve.

“My life is good enough” is my mantra in 2015. I foresee myself repeating it to myself over and over. Especially as I am still searching for a job I can be passionate about, I’m still trying to learn how to manage my finances, I’m still trying to achieve those damn flat abs I had when I was 18. But lucky for me, I married a Type B and I’m hoping he can help me learn to relax and earn to appreciate what I already have.

00a2fd1716de99dc1a0f3438b04d158fThis doesn’t mean I intend to lay about and let my house get messy, stop working out, and not do home improvements and updates. It just means I am not going to stress about it. I’m still going to work toward a better life, better finances, better work- I’m just going to stop thinking that everything I have sucks.

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Open Heart

What do I mean by an open heart? I carry a lot of anger around with me. From the death of my dad when I was 10, to a hatred of my step father, to major resentment of how my ex boyfriend treated me; I have felt like the universe hates me. I have felt like I can’t have a normal life, that I never get the things that everyone else gets and I start to feel sorry for myself over it.

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By open heart I am going to work on letting go of past grudges. I’m going to open my heart to those I feel don’t deserve it. A big to-do on the open heart list? Let in my husband’s ex wife. When he and I first started dating, the two of them had major issues and I become angry and hateful of her in defense of my husband. But the years have mellowed things and the two of them have a much better relationship but I still harbour anger and resentment. I’m going to let go of all that this year and appreciate that she is a good mother who is raising two very loving and well behaved children which is a gift for me (I couldn’t handle little hellions).

This isn’t going to be an easy journey at all. It’s going to take a lot of soul searching, a lot of deep breathes, but I am determined to end 2015 with a lighter heart.

Wow- so this post got pretty deep and it’s pretty long. I encourage all of you to not set “resolution” but rather a couple goals that are realistic or set a feeling for 2015. Do you want it to also be contentment? Maybe happiness, laughter, or gratitude.

Happy New Year everyone!!

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4 Comments

  • Kristin January 1, 2015 at 12:20 pm

    Happy New Year!! Have a fabulous start to 2015!! You rock!! XOXO

    Reply
  • thebexfactor January 1, 2015 at 6:58 pm

    Great post. Those are some really great goals to work on. As a single mom, I worry about the relationship with my ex’s new girlfriend should she stick around. It’s nice to hear that as something you are working on, because I think it really makes a difference.

    Happy New Year and all the best. Glad I found your blog 🙂

    Reply
  • Joanna @ LivingMintGreen January 5, 2015 at 10:14 am

    I love everything about this post & it’s so awesome to connect with fellow bloggers who own their authenticity.

    I completely agree with you about the resolution thing – like, if you want to lose 5lb, why wait until the New Year? Just fix it right then & there. Ahhhh… keeping an open heart. Yes. This is one of my goals/life lessons as well.

    Reply
    • Betty LIVIN January 5, 2015 at 10:31 am

      Thanks Jo! It’s not easy to do at all though but in the long run I know I’ll be a happier person for it!

      Reply

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