Ok! Tynan and Logan are both napping and my mom is taking a much needed break and enjoying a long shower. So now let’s try to hammer out Logan’s birth story, which is oddly similar to Tynan’s!

If you follow me on social media, I quoted “Man makes plan and God laughs.” Well, I schedule my c-sections and he laughs at that too! Because five days before my scheduled c-section, I once again went into labour! What the hell?! What are the odds of that happening twice?

The Birth Story- Five Days Early

My first contraction hit long and hard around midnight and I said to Ryan “I really hope that is just a Braxton Hicks contraction.” But to be safe I started up my stop watch and started timing. There were two contraction that were ten minutes apart and then my water broke.

I was so PISSED because I wasn’t ready! I had everything planned and I still thought I had five days to prepare before the baby arrived. And here I was, in labour in the middle of the night. At least this time, I had an emergency hospital bag packed “just in case” this happened again. Good thing.

We called my brother in law to cone get Tynan and Ryan and I headed in to the hospital.

My contractions were coming regularly and I timed them at six minutes apart by the time I got to the hospital. At 1:30 am we made it into the hospital and they hooked me up to the heartbeat monitor.

LABOUR IS HORRIFIC

Ok. Here is where things went sideways. I did not prepare for traditional labour. I did not take a childbirth class, I did not research relaxation methods, exercises, or anything else to make it easier.

For instance, these contractions hurt waaaaaay more than last time! When I asked the nurse why, she said because Tynan was a breech, I didn’t experience the pain of a baby actually bearing down to come out.

I also had never had my cervix checked before; this is barbaric!! I yelled at the nurse “Lady! Get your fingers out of me!” Why don’t we have technology like microscopic cameras to measure that? I should look into starting up a tech company to invent this because that sucks!

I also didn’t like being told to relax and breath slowly through the contractions. Again, I had not prepared for that! I was yelling for drugs and saying “cut this kid out me!”

Anyhoo, I had to wait another hour and a half for the doctor and the anesthesiologist to get there in which I experienced contractions getting harder and closer together.

At one point my doctor wanted to check to see how dilated I was and I wouldn’t let her! I was terrified she would try and make me push so I flat out refused.

Oh man! Those poor nurses! I was awful.

When we finally got to the O.R. and that spinal tap took effect I was able to calm down and apologize to all the ladies for how awful I had been. Ha ha!

I Made My Weight Gain Goal

On a side note, my goal was not to break 200 pounds. When we arrived at the hospital, they forgot to weigh me. They decided to go by the weight I was at my last doctor appointment the week before which was 197.5 pounds. So there you go- I never broke 200! Ha ha ha!

He Arrives 

C-sections don’t take long and in less than ten minutes, Logan made his appearance in the world! It was funny because they said I would feel pressure and I could feel them pushing down on the top of my stomach but I wasn’t expecting a huge splashing sound that sounded similar to someone throwing a bucket of water. Seconds later I heard him cry.

I was so excited to finally see his face and so relieved to have it all over with.

He was another little baby, 7 pounds 1 ounce and 19.5 inches long. He only cried a little when he first came out but was super mellow from that moment on.

When we finally left recovery for our hospital room it was 5 a.m.

Ryan slept on the chair and I laid there holding Logan close to my chest and I swear there is no better feeling in the world.

Women are Warriors!!!

You can’t truly understand labour pain without experiencing it yourself and seriously, women are warriors! That is a pain like no other. I texted a friend who had a 10.5 pound baby without drugs and I told her that she wasn’t a mother, she was a survivor. Phew! In fact, I get the push present trend because women deserve gifts and special treatment after enduring something like that. I’ve ready many a birth story that downplayed how awful it really is!

So that’s the dramatic story of how I once again, didn’t get the relaxed elective c-section I had anticipated. I got the dramatic movie moment that I will always look on in slight horror.

How funny that this Type A control freak was ONCE AGAIN shown that life won’t go according to plan.

But in exchange, I got this AMAZING LITTLE MAN!

I’ll do a baby update in a few weeks when I get more sleep and feel more together. In the meantime, I wanted to share his funny birth story.

Anyone else opt for C-sections over natural delivery? Is anyone interested in me sharing my reasons for this?

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