What a difference a year makes! On this day last year I turned 30 and I was miserable. I talked about how I felt like I spent my 20s not doing the things I wanted to do and I stated;
“I want to spend my 30s breaking out of the mould and really figuring out who I am, what I’m passionate about, and appreciating each day for what it has to offer.“
Things worked out like they should this year.
First off, a realtor knocked on our door and said someone wanted to buy our house just days after a friend of mine listed her adorable 2 bedroom place for sale and I took it as a sign! When Ryan and I bought our first home (1700 square feet) we planned to have room to grow and fill it with a family but the house needed work/updating and had a bad flow and soon being in that house did nothing but stress me out. I would spend time in that home in a state of anxiety.
With the move to a smaller, much more affordable home that I loved, I was finally able to feel relaxed at home. I was also able to finally take a little more control of my life and quit my job and go back to school. Going back to school and leaving office life behind me has been an amazing breath of fresh air and I am the happiest I have been since I was a young child.
So what have I learned in this year?
You are never stuck! Feeling stuck really is in your head! I honestly spent years talking about going back to school but saying I was stuck because I couldn’t afford tuition, I couldn’t afford to live without a full time income, our mortgage was too high, etc. I remember getting annoyed with articles that said it was easy to pursue your passions you just had to have courage because I would think “Easy for you to say you don’t have student loans/car payments/mortgage etc.” But I promise that you are only stuck because you want to be! Every goal is possible if you really want it and make it happen.
Life never goes exactly how you want it! I had thought that 2015 would be when I finally had a baby but things didn’t work out and I’ve realized that this milestone will happen when it happens and I can’t control it. My sister’s fiancee cancelled the wedding and left her one month before the wedding this year. My car died two months before it was paid off! I was looking forward to saving that money and had to go out and finance a new car. We have to realize that we can’t map out our lives, as a Type A perfectionist that’s been a hard lesson to learn.
Act how you feel! I always felt suffocated in the corporate environment. I would be told I my behaviour was “unprofessional” at least once a year and I would get so frustrated because I was already reigning in my personality big time. Even outside of work there was the chance I might run into someone I work with so I would try to act a certain way. My favourite change this year? I am finally not afraid to ride my shopping cart down the aisles while singing aloud to myself. I’ve gotten quite a few amused looks but I don’t care, I’m making grocery shopping fun. If someone tells you to act your age blow a raspberry at them or give them the finger because life is better when you act how you feel!
Dress how you feel! I am still trying to figure this out you guys. I remember in high school and college fashion was so important to me. I subscribed to Elle magazine and I would shop at the cheaper stores for copies of the things I saw. Then I went to work and pant suits and pencil skirts took over. Now I am figuring out what to wear with multiple PE classes and work intertwined. What you wear shows your personality to the world before you open your mouth so make sure you are true to you!
Every relationship is different. Ryan and I had our share of fights this year mainly because I was frustrated that we didn’t do enough together. Ryan doesn’t enjoy hiking and has joined me on a couple of shorter hikes this year but I did quite a few alone. I tried to get him to take up running with me but he wouldn’t. I see these couples who travel across the country in a van together or spend weekends climbing/hiking/camping/running races and I get envious. Sometimes I feel like we aren’t friends because we don’t have any shared hobbies or interests. We’re still defining our relationship on our terms but all that matters is that we love each other and we’re willing to weather any storm together. I’m learning that just because we’re not adventure buddies doesn’t mean there is something wrong with our marriage.
If you had told me one year ago today that I would be in such a good place I wouldn’t have believed it possible. I’m sticking with the wise words my old coworker Mike said to me last year;
“I think it doesn’t matter how old you are but how happy you are with life and what you’ve accomplished so far.”
I can’t wait for year 31 and to pack it full of fun, love, and more lessons learned.