They say no two pregnancies are the same and man are they right! But I feel like a large part of why pregnancies are harder after your first is because you have kids to look after. I remember how I breezed through my pregnancy with Tynan. I did yoga 2-4 times a week, napped every day after work, and stuck to a healthy diet (up until the final month). That has not been the case this time around.
I found I was pregnant a few weeks after TyTy turned one. It’s funny because I knew I was pregnant before it made sense on the calendar. It was a feeling that hit me in the gut one night at about 3 a.m. as I was making TyTy a bottle. Sure enough, a week later the test said ‘Pregnant.’
I was shocked and I’ll admit it, upset. I sooooo wasn’t ready to start this journey all over again. Especially considering I was two weeks out from running my first marathon and had just lost the baby weight. TyTy was still getting up 1-3 times a night so I was sleep deprived and balancing work and motherhood. The thought of doing it all over again? Well, let’s just say I’m 31 weeks and still freaked out.
What’s different this time around?
I started showing WAY earlier!
My stomach bumped out so quickly. I think it’s because I still hadn’t fully healed/strengthened my abs back so they opened up right away. The number of comments I got about how early I was showing was a bit of a self-esteem crusher.
My first trimester sickness was worse.
You truly forget how sick you get until you have to experience first trimester sickness all over again. I spent 12 weeks weak with hunger. But unable to stomach anything besides fruit and cereal.
I was unhappy with the baby’s gender.
I wanted a girl the first time but when we found out TyTy was a boy I was fine with it as I knew I wanted more kids. This time around, I wanted a girl SO BAD. I had my family praying for me because I was so sick that I didn’t want to have another and having my girl would mean I was done being pregnant forever. When the technician pointed out the sex and said it was a boy I started to cry and didn’t stop…for 11 hours. I wish I was over exaggerating for effect, but I counted later, it was 11 hours. I’m not horrible, I know I’ll love this boy just as much as my first, but I’m allowed to feel disappointed that I don’t get the child I envisioned; a little girl I enroll in figure skating and cheerleading.
NO time for exercise!
I was very active my first pregnancy but this time around I have a different challenge, I have a baby to care for! Ryan has a new job working extremely long hours and after a day on my feet teaching, a long drive home with Ty, and making dinner, the last thing I want to do is arrange for a sitter and go workout. It’s just not happening. Once in awhile I squeeze in a relaxing yoga session thanks to the Downward Dog app, but I’m not as active and I can feel the difference.
I’m eating whatever I want!
This is another bad difference in this pregnancy than the last. I tried really hard to stick to a healthy diet last time around and didn’t indulge until the final month. I thought if I ate healthy I would lose the baby weight more easily but it took 10 months, marathon training, and an eating plan to lose it. That was such a hard period of my life and I felt cheated as I was ‘so good’ during pregnancy. This time my mindset is “Whatever! I’m going to get fat and stay fat for months anyway’ and I’m eating anything and everything I want. It’s not good and I live with guilt for stuffing this baby with garbage and I’m watching my waistline (and thighs) expanding. But every time I have a hard day at work, Dairy Queen calls my name so I head out with my lactose pills and indulge in a sweet and salty Peanut Buster Parfait.
Caffeine and sushi are no longer off limits.
Last pregnancy I didn’t touch a cup of coffee and I ate and savoured one spicy salmon handroll. This time around, I’m much more relaxed. I try to save caffeine only for the days I really need a boost, but when I go out for sushi I eat whatever I want. I go to the same place every time and I’ve never gotten sick from them before so I’m not worried.
I’m exhausted from chasing TyTy.
Finally, I am so tired this pregnancy I can’t even! Tynan sleeps through the night 3 or 4 nights a week and the other’s he gets up. He also wakes up between 4:30-5:30 a.m. every morning. Ryan and I take turns getting up with him, but I am so tired all the time. And then I go to work and I come home and chase him around until bedtime. Phew! I don’t know how my mom did it! She had five kids!
I told you I wasn’t planning on holding back anymore. We need imperfect people to blog honestly so these are my unfiltered thoughts.
In the end, all that matters is that I add a healthy little baby to our family and I’m looking forward to watching how TyTy and he get along as he grows. I’ve got about a month and a half left, and I’m very excited to get this kid out of me so I can feel more like myself, drink a ton of coffee, oh yeah, and have another little to love! Ha ha!